My tears hurt Dawn deeply. "Sorry to disappoint you!" she mutters. I sob even harder. Sometimes it feels good to let out what's inside, even if tears ...re all I have."Wait..." she says, "is... is that happy crying?" Yes, dummy!" I reply, surprised and teary, "You think I wanted the world to end?!" I don't know," she says, so softly, looking into my eyes with such sadness. "Didn't you?"I just stare at her. Of course I didn't! And yet... this life, this world... it has been my Hell for so long.. There had been music on the radio and happy and excited chatter all around, but it mostly flowed around me.There was an empty place in my thoughts that used to be Bud.I didn't notice when we made a big dogleg around Bodega Bay and away from the coast. I did look up when everyone's excitement picked up when we returned to the ocean of Tomales Bay.Somewhere along the way Kelli thought to ask me what was wrong. I told her someone close to me had died. It wasn't true, but it felt true. True enough. My mother also had tiny handwriting!"You're right, you know," Brandi said to me.Knowing my mom, it didn't matter if I started at the beginning, end, or middle of her journal. Linear and my mom didn't belong in the same sentence, except to deny they'd ever met."About what?" I asked Brandi."James always expected I'd cheat," she replied. "I hated it! If I slept with you, I would feel like I was breaking my vows."I didn't have anything to say."I thought you might have a suggestion," she said."I'm. Well I’m glad you enjoy my stories so much and I’m glad they help you,” he said.“Actually, Thomas they don’t always. The truth of the matter is sometimes I end up hornier and more in need than when I started. It’s not your fault, it’s just… well, Michael works hard and is often too tired when he comes home to do anything. It leaves me frustrated and lonesome. That’s why I came to Lush, to begin with,” she said.“Yes, you’ve told me about your husband’s work. I’m sorry, Donna. Do you have.
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